Happy Birthday, BakaNekoSan!
by BakaNekoSan
Summary: What more would a SasuNaru fan like myself want for my Birthday than a SasuNaru Lemon? This also contains a side pairing of Deidara and Tobi! Enjoy, Nya!


**Why, hello everyone! It's been a long time, I know… I won't be able to post more to my other stories for a little while for those who are waiting for "Permanent Pigtails" or "Naruto's Pet" or both. **

**This fic was made purely because of the fact that tomorrow is **_**MY BIRTHDAY**_**!!! I would be posting this tomorrow, but I won't be able to get on compy-sama since we're trying to get rid of its virus. (sniff) But what more can a SasuNaru fan ask for than a SasuNaru fic? So I wrote myself one! Strange, yes, but hey, it gives everyone a SasuNaru story! How I came up with this idea... your guess is as good as mine... I was trying to go to sleep and I thought of this idea. Call me a perv, I don't care because, well, I am one! **

**Warning****: This fic contains a ****SasuNaru Lemon****, yum, so don't read if you don't like! Also there's the OOC-ness that I write without meaning to and this time I have an OC character that plays a role! (Wait, don't I usually have those anyways? Let's just say this one's different!) This fic may cause your IQ to go down. Just saying...**

**Please let me know what you think about the lemon-ness (since you apparently like them if you clicked on the link when it said LEMON; or you could have just wanted to read a SasuNaru fic, so who am I to judge?) because this is my first lemon posted and I'm not so sure how well I write them… Feedback is love!**

**Now for the story! Enjoy!**

Happy Birthday, BakaNekoSan!!!

Good day to all who have bothered to read this tale. I am here to reveal the significance of today for it is a very special day, so special that a certain someone decided to hold a special event for one single person.

Now, this "certain someone" we are talking about happens to be the author of this Fanfiction and to answer the question of why today is so special is because it is her birthday!

As for this special event for a single person… well… _that_ is the beginning of my little tale.

-

Uchiha Sasuke slowly strolled down the streets of Konoha, watching the path before him with a blank stare. He was feeling distressed for today he had hopes of giving his blonde lover some out of this world, hardcore shmex that would make the blonde feel hotter than he ever had while being with Sasuke… but he was all out of new ideas of how to pleasure his companion anymore than he already had over the couple of years they had been together.

As he continued to walk down the street – playing out different scenarios in his head that he could try – something caught his eye. Sitting in a usually vacant area was a small booth with pictures of cats printed on the cloth hanging around as decoration and even found a large cat head staring wide-eyed from the counter hiding away what was inside.

_A booth selling cats…? When did that get here?_

Showing a little curiosity as to what it was the raven walked over to the small booth and peered inside to see exactly what it was selling, but there were no items hanging about; it was only covered with cats and nothing more.

_Nothing special… probably just some weirdo sidesh-_

"WELCOME, DEAR CUSTOMER!!!" cried an excited voice from within the booth, making the Uchiha nearly lose composure and jump, but he managed to keep some resistance and only flinched.

Standing in the booth – that Sasuke was almost positive had been empty just a few seconds ago – was a short, brown-headed female that watched the Uchiha like a hungry hawk. Her lips curled up in an eager smile as she happily drummed the top of the counter with her fingers.

This wasn't what made the Uchiha uneasy, however; it was the blood splattered all over her front while she looked completely oblivious to it!

The female grinned at the look she received from Sasuke and spoke in a calmer tone, "And what can I do for you Mr. Uchiha Sasuke?"

Now the raven was a little paranoid. "Who the hell are you?" He glared at the smiling girl, expecting her to suddenly jump at him in attack, for the only people that ever knew his name before he had the chance to meet them were usually people out to get him!

"That's not very polite to say to someone that only wants to help you out!" the girl retorted. Seeing that this only unnerved the Uchiha even more she quickly went on to her point, "I'm giving away something special today! All you have to do is accept my offer and I'll happily hand it over to you!"

The Uchiha cocked a brow and mentally sighed.

_Just a weird salesperson… _

"Not interested."

He turned to continue on with his stroll around Konoha while he mulled over what to do about Naruto.

"Hey! Wait a minute! I'm talking about something you would be interested in! It's for _personal _use!"

Seeing that the Uchiha didn't even hesitate while he walked off the female frantically racked her brain of what could catch his attention and smiled when coming to something.

"No? Hmm… I guess I'll have to find someone else that would be interested in buying these seemingly innocent, _erotic_ tools then…" she played it off with a heavy sigh and glanced over in Sasuke's direction, grinning mischievously upon seeing him frozen as he was.

BINGO!

The Uchiha found himself standing in front of the booth once again and glared down at his feet for betraying him and bringing him back, but he had to admit that he was willing to listen now that he knew what the girl was selling. He gave the brunette a smug look and growled, "Ok, you've got my attention. What exactly are you selling?"

Trying to contain herself from the excitement the female smiled widely, hazel eyes flashing with naughty playfulness. She leaned over the counter, eyes locked with Sasuke's as she said, "Hands."

…

"_Hands_?" repeated Sasuke feeling a little peeved.

Hazel eyes rolled.

"Listen, do you want them or not?"

Sasuke thrust his hands in front of the girl's face. "What do these look like to you?"

The girl angrily shoved the hands out of the way and glared at him. "Your hands are boring. I'm talking about these," she disappeared beneath the counter and reappeared with-

"Are you fucking crazy?!" the Uchiha took a step back from the girl, thinking she was seriously out of her mind.

The mischievous grin reappeared on the feminine face and the naughty playfulness reflected within her eyes once more as she happily chanted, "Maybe!"

Within the female's arms were two bloody arms that looked as if they had recently been hacked off of someone's body; the blood was still slowly dripping from the torn flesh and continued to smear the already bloody shirt on the girl.

There was something about the hands that the Uchiha recognized and his eyes widened when he realized what was so familiar about them. There was a crease within each palm of the hands and he immediately took a couple steps closer.

"Hey… these belong to that annoying guy that always said 'un' at the end of every sentence…! Did you-?!" **(1)**

The female innocently looked off to the side and said just as innocently, "Hey, I just wanted to borrow them for a little while! What's the harm in that?"

Sasuke twitched as he looked down at the arms that were to be sold to him. He had to admit that if he had hands like these it would open the door to many possibilities with his blonde lover and quickly agreed to take them.

After the female performed many hand signs that Sasuke had never seen before his hands suddenly possessed the creases that the other ones had.

_What the hell is she…?_

"Here's my card!" chorused the brunette as she whipped out a small, light-blue piece of paper.

The Uchiha took the card and scanned it.

"_BakaNekoSan_? What kind of name is that?" murmured Sasuke more to himself than to the girl in front of him.

Grinning widely again the girl spoke exuberantly, "Have fun!" and waved him off.

"What? Are these for free?"

The female's face darkened to look almost evil. She rubbed her hands together as if plotting something and chuckled, "Oh don't worry about that… I'm definitely going to get something for this…!"

As the raven walked off he felt as if he had sold his soul over to the demonic girl without realizing it and shivered.

_Well… at least my problem with Naruto is solved…_

-Meanwhile, in a deserted forest many miles away-

"Aw, _fuck_! TOBI!!! Quit screwing around and help me up, un!"

A blonde male lay on his back and failed to sit up since his arms had been stolen from him just recently, blood slowly pouring from the gaping wounds – and yet he somehow managed to stay alive.

"Alright, Deidara-sempai!" chorused a spiky, raven-haired male as he happily helped the blonde to climb to his feet. The exuberance he had as he grabbed around Deidara's waist to help him up unnerved the blonde and he grit his teeth for having to put up with being so incapable without his arms.

When Deidara was able to stand on his own he quickly kicked Tobi away from him and glared down at the happy-go-lucky male as he stood back up.

"Aw… Deidara-sempai is just upset because he can't masturbate anymore!"

The blonde's face flushed as Tobi pointed at him and giggled childishly.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, UN!"

Tobi did as commanded and smiled behind his mask at Deidara. He slowly brought his body against the blonde's, wrapping one of his arms around the male's waist and let his other hand trail down the other's torso.

"If you ever need help with that," Tobi dropped the high pitched tone to whisper with his sexy voice in Deidara's ear, "I'll gladly volunteer."

Deidara's face darkened a few shades of red. He glared at Tobi, quickly connected his knee with the raven's crotch and turned as Tobi buckled down to the ground.

"Idiot! I'm not going to be needing any help from you because we're going to get my arms back!" he quickly spun back around to Tobi and growled, "That means you have to co-operate with me! No more screwing around, un!"

Once Tobi was able to stand he happily chattered, "Of course, Deidara-sempai! Tobi is a good boy and will co-operate!"

-

Upon entering Naruto's house the Uchiha pulled his hands behind his back and watched as his lover prattled on about a movie that he wished to see with Sasuke sometime, but stopped when he noticed that Sasuke looked troubled.

"Something wrong?"

It was silent for a moment, furthering the blonde's worry over Sasuke.

"Nothing's wrong. I was just thinking how to go about this…"

The spiky-headed male grew puzzled.

"To go about what?"

Sasuke drew his hands from behind his back and revealed the palms to Naruto. He felt the creases in his hand widen as a tongue ejected itself from each hole. The feeling was strange, but the Uchiha dealt with it. He smirked when seeing the look of horror on Naruto's face.

"EH?! AREN'T THOSE-"

Nodding the Uchiha swiftly took to standing in front of Naruto and softly caressed one of the whiskered cheeks, slowly moving his hand to rake his fingers through the spiky blonde hair to reveal to his lover what he wanted to "go about."

Naruto blushed and felt his heart beat against his chest rapidly.

"Eh? Y-you mean…?"

His body started heating up at the soft touch from Sasuke. He whimpered when he felt a wet muscle slowly run across his ear then lightly nibble on it.

"R-right now, Sasuke…?"

Sasuke's lips curved into his trademark smirk once again.

"I've got a couple new ideas and I was thinking that we should test them out."

The blonde nervously brought his arm up and held onto the Uchiha's hand that was biting his ear. He gently rubbed his thumb over Sasuke's knuckles and gave a light moan, slowly whispering in his uke voice "ok," knowing that this would drive the male crazy.

And did this drive Sasuke crazy? To the extreme, it did! Sex with Naruto was the only thing his mind had ventured to all day and it made him horny; this only added fuel to the already blazing fire.

"You say things like that, knowing exactly how I take them, don't you?" he felt his hot erection throb beneath his pants and wanted so badly to give himself relief by fucking Naruto with everything he had, but resisted since this was purely done for his blonde lover and not himself… ok, maybe it was partially for his benefit too, but he would take it slow unlike the way he usually went about it.

Naruto smiled mischievously, narrowed his eyes and continued to speak in his uke voice that drove Sasuke to his breaking point, "I like making you a horny teme."

Trying his best to keep from showing Naruto just how horny he was Sasuke just growled his frustration and allowed for his free hand to unzip the orange jacket that was hiding away his lover's body along with the black shirt underneath. He pulled the jacket from Naruto's shoulders and let it collapse to the floor. The light sound the jacket made when landing acted as a buzzer that meant 'go' for Sasuke and he captured Naruto's lips with his and kissed him tenderly.

"Don't expect me to do this for you every time," he grumbled softly between kisses with the blonde as his right hand quickly snatched the black shirt from Naruto's body and busied itself with a nipple and his other one fell to hold onto Naruto's ass.

Naruto's face grew hot at the contact and his body quivered when the crease in Sasuke's hand opened, ejecting a tongue that roughly massaged his nub with its smooth wetness.

"Ohhh…! Sasuke…" the blonde gasped into Sasuke's mouth and proceeded to moan when the Uchiha crushed their hips together with one swift movement. The male's stiffened member pressed against Naruto's, intensifying the heat between them and the blonde inhaled and exhaled heavily as Sasuke slowly rubbed himself against Naruto.

The tongue caressing Naruto's chest felt the Uchiha's lust for the blonde and savagely sucked on the area it had been placed, forming a dark mark upon the male's chest. The teeth began lightly nipping at Naruto's nipple to further the aroused state Naruto was in.

Their breaths quickened and grew lustful as Naruto's desire for Sasuke made him buck into his lover's hips rather hard from wanting more contact with the raven. He loved Sasuke and his promise to take things at a slower pace this time, but he wanted sex just as much as Sasuke did. He rammed his hips against the Uchiha's and stopped it there, looking up into the hungry onyx eyes.

"Please, Sasuke!" he begged the male, knowing he would understand and pressed his head against the male's chest and exhaled heavily into him.

Sasuke could barely contain himself any longer and Naruto begging him for sexual contact broke his slow-and-easy-going mood, so he plucked Naruto from his feet and whisked him away to his bed. There Sasuke shed his clothing to the floor and joined the blonde on the bed. He picked up where they had left off and began sucking on Naruto's lower lip forcing his hand to grip the back of his lover's head to keep him from pulling away.

"Mm… Sasuke…!" Naruto groaned as the other male bit down on his lip, causing a throbbing ache to form, "It's too… hot…!" he tried telling the raven as he tasted blood from his lip.

"It's only going to get hotter," Sasuke pulled away from Naruto long enough to whisper this warning. He then began to continuously massage the pain Naruto had received with his tongue, tasting the bitter blood that belonged to the spiky-headed male as he caressed the wounded lip over and over very gently.

Sasuke traced his right hand down Naruto's torso until he met with the waist line of the orange pants. He pressed his face against Naruto's as an order to lie down; he was obeyed and the two remained in a lip-lock as Naruto fell backwards with Sasuke straddling him. The raven began probing the hot, wet cavern with his smooth tongue; occasionally feeling Naruto's wet muscle wrestle against his own, but the need for air kept the blonde from winning.

"T-Teme… always wanting to be the best…" panted the blonde trying to pull off a moody expression, but only looked cute in the onyx eyes.

Lust got the better of Sasuke and he repositioned himself to sit between Naruto's bent legs. He quickly unfastened the orange pants and just as swiftly yanked them off, along with Naruto's boxers, making the blonde yelp in surprise.

The crease in Sasuke's right hand opened once more and it smacked its lips hungrily to what the raven was thinking when seeing Naruto's exposed erection.

Azure eyes watched as the hand's tongue licked its lips at them; Naruto shivered and moved his gaze to see the calculating look on Sasuke's face.

"Y-you're not about to-!"

His member throbbed when seeing Sasuke smirk.

"Wait a second, Sasuke! I can't-!"

The raven quickly fell to rest atop of Naruto again and clouded the blonde's thoughts by shoving his tongue within his mouth and immediately wrestled against Naruto's again, but this time with more force.

When Sasuke was sure that Naruto was off guard he pressed the gaping hole in his right hand over the tip of Naruto's cock. He felt an intense heat enter his hand and forced the mouth all the way down Naruto's quaking member until it had swallowed him whole.

Naruto broke from the kiss with Sasuke and threw his head back against the bed, moaning loudly in pleasure to the heat consuming him. He grew louder as he felt the strong muscle within the raven's hand begin to rub against him roughly, taking long, hard strokes up and down his shaft.

"Ugh! S-Sasuke! Haa! Haa!"

Sasuke's own member throbbed and grew hotter at the erotic noises Naruto made, but he forced himself to keep his cool so he could continue pleasuring his lover.

He slowly raised his hand up Naruto's member as if about to pull the mouth away from the blonde, but when the mouth reached the tip of Naruto's cock he shoved it back down then pulled up again, continuing the process until Naruto's moans intensified to screams of the Uchiha's name and he felt a hot release of liquid fill the mouth.

The blonde panted noisily and whimpered when Sasuke removed his hand completely from between his legs, the saliva drenching his member began to cool down from the room temperature and made him feel very cold and uncomfortable.

The tongue that had just pleasured Naruto licked its lips happily and fell back to being a crease when realizing that its job was done for the moment.

Onyx eyes watched on as Naruto tried catching his breath. Sasuke could no longer hold anything back, his own erection yearning for attention to be given, and gazed into the bright blue eyes that watched him curiously once their wielder had finally caught his breath.

"Now," breathed the raven in a harsh voice, "I'm going to use everything I've got on you."

Naruto's already blushing face darkened as the other male flipped him over to lie on his stomach. He knew what was coming and shivered a little as his hot backside was exposed to the cool atmosphere. He felt a lump form in his throat and swallowed hard.

Cupping Naruto's two cheeks in his hands Sasuke spread them to reveal the blonde's entrance. He felt Naruto tense up in preparation to what was about to come and exhaled heavily to keep himself from shoving his entire cock into the blonde's backside all at once.

Slowly the Uchiha pressed his member against Naruto's tight hole and heard the blonde give a small whimper that turned into a shrill cry of pain when Sasuke pushed against him again, this time entering his body. Sasuke panted harshly and continued to push into the blonde until he was completely within him and moaned Naruto's name. The hot, tight sensation around his hard erection sent waves of pleasure throughout his body and made him buckle over Naruto's body as he continued to pant noisily.

He heard Naruto whimpering quietly and leaned forward to whisper, "I love you," into his ear.

The blonde exhaled heavily and blinked a couple of tears in his eyes away before speaking.

"I love you, too."

With that Sasuke slowly pulled both of his arms around Naruto's body and held him in a heated embrace. Naruto found comfort in the Uchiha's arms and hugged them tenderly as he let tears pour from his eyes.

After a moment longer of holding the blonde Sasuke leaned back, pulling his arms away and plunged his right hand down Naruto's body to find his still erect member. The crease opened for Sasuke and devoured Naruto again, swirling its tongue around him and sucking him harder than before because of the mood change in Sasuke that told the tongue that all the male wanted now was fucking and screaming; it obviously understood the Uchiha's needs.

Naruto forced his face into the blankets and moaned uncontrollably into them as he bucked forward into Sasuke's hand and reared back against Sasuke's erection, sending pleasurable sensations down the blonde's spine; having the hot, wet mouth sucking him from the front and Sasuke's large, hard cock up his ass felt so good it was almost unbearable.

The movement around the Uchiha set him off and he stifled a groan. He matched the thrusts that Naruto made and began pumping in and out of him, causing the two of them to moan with great vigor.

Sasuke's forgotten left hand dived under Naruto's chest, opening its crease to ready itself for use. It found Naruto's collar bone and began nibbling it with its teeth and soon after began sucking him to leave a mark of Sasuke's affections. The hand traveled north and began sucking on the side of Naruto's neck to leave a third mark.

Naruto's panting turned to groaning the Uchiha's name over and over, timed with the thrusts they made, growing louder and louder until he was screaming the name.

"S-SA-SASUKE-!"

Another dose of hot liquid poured into the mouth in Sasuke's right hand, but this time he felt it overflow, drenching his hand in the process as well as the blankets. The blonde collapsed on the bed and moaned as Sasuke continued pumping into him.

The Uchiha felt himself coming to his climax as well and thrust into Naruto's ass harder.

"I-I CAN'T-!" cried the blonde as he continued crying out in pain to how hard Sasuke was forcing himself in and out of his entrance.

Sasuke moaned when he came into Naruto and panted as he collapsed against the blonde's back, trying to catch his breath. The body beneath him shivered and gave a pitiful whimper as Sasuke pulled out of him and removed his hands.

He fell against the bed and rested by Naruto's side as his breathing slowed down to a normal pace.

"God, Sasuke…" breathed Naruto once he had finally caught his breath, "That was…" he felt his face blush in embarrassment, "the hottest I've ever felt when having sex with you…"

The Uchiha smirked and wiped at his sweaty forehead then looked down at the new set of hands he had received.

"You know… I think I want to keep these for future use…"

Naruto's face reddened as the raven leaned forward and gently kissed his lips. He slowly kissed back and found himself in Sasuke's arms. They let their hands explore each other's body curiously though they already had every detail about one another memorized. Naruto pulled away from the sweet kiss to lay his head in the crook of Sasuke's neck, nuzzling it gently as he felt weariness take over his body.

"I love you, Sasuke…" he whispered in a sweet voice as he fell asleep in the Uchiha's arms.

Sasuke stroked the spiky hair with one hand and held Naruto close with the other, making sure that the creases remained closed so they wouldn't wake his blonde. His heart beat against his chest a little quicker than usual and he smiled.

"You're the only one that has this spell on me, Naruto…" he whispered in the sleeping male's ear, "and I love it."

The Uchiha pulled a blanket over them so they wouldn't get cold and went to wrapping his arms around Naruto to hold him close so their body heat would warm one another throughout the night. Slowly the Uchiha sealed his eyes shut and fell into a peaceful and sound sleep.

-

The female that Sasuke had met earlier that day – known as BakaNekoSan – sat below the window to Naruto's bedroom that the two had forgotten to cover with the drapes, her nose looking as if a red river had just poured from it as she held her mother's camera close to her chest with the godly footage on it.

"I love today…" she tried speaking calmly to herself, but her voice cracked with excitement as she jumped up and ran off into the distance, holding the camera as if it could break if anything other than her hands touched it.

The wind began to pick up around BakaNekoSan and she paused from her sprint and looked about, expecting someone to show up since that's how everything worked in the world of Naruto.

She was very correct in her thoughts when she found the two Akatsuki members that she had "met up with" earlier that day suddenly appeared in front of her. She smiled tenderly to the two of them and greeted politely, "Hello, Dara-chan and Tobi-kun!"

Tobi waved to the girl but was violently kicked in the shin by Deidara, who scolded him for acting friendly with the "enemy."

"Dumbass! We're here for my arms, not to make _friends_ with the person who stole them!" growled the blonde angrily at the raven.

"Aw, but Deidara-sempai, she had said that she only wanted to borrow them!"

"WHO "BORROWS" ARMS, UN?!"

All BakaNekoSan wanted was to get to the safety of her home and make copies of the video for every fangirl to see, but if she was going to be attacked by Deidara and Tobi then it would be hard to do so. She quietly inched her way past the two Akatsuki members while they argued, but wasn't slick enough to escape Deidara's gaze.

"NOT SO FAST, BITCH!"

The girl flinched and immediately went into explanation, "Look, I'm sorry about your arms, but I can't give them back to you because I told the person I sold them to that they're non-refundable!"

Deidara's jaw dropped.

"YOU _**SOLD **_MY ARMS!?" in anger he quickly turned to Tobi and began yelling at him as if everything was his fault, "GO KICK HER ASS RIGHT NOW, UN!!!"

Tobi nodded his head and ran over to the girl. When he reached her he paused then swiftly gave her rear a soft tap with his foot and turned to Deidara who looked like he was about to bust a blood vessel at Tobi for taking him literally.

"Did I do good, Deidara-sempai?!" he sang in a cute voice.

The pissed blonde marched over to stand by Tobi and proceeded to kick him in the shins once again as he cursed the raven for ever becoming a part of the Akatsuki.

BakaNekoSan poked her bottom lip out in the form of a pout. She felt sorry for Tobi for being abused because of her, but was able to smile when an idea came to her mind that could help not only Tobi, but her as well.

"Tobi-kun," began the girl with a light smile as the two male's turned towards her, "why are you letting Dara-chan kick you when you have more limbs than he does right now?" her facial expression fell to her trademark mischievous grin as she continued, "You can easily take advantage of Dara-chan while he's like this, you know!"

The raven appeared to be mulling over what she had told him while Deidara bared his teeth at her.

"What the hell are you talking about?! Tobi does everything I tell him! He wouldn't dare do something to-"

Before Deidara was able to finish his sentence Tobi grabbed around his waist and forced his body to stand _very _close his, shocking the Akatsuki member who had no way of pushing their bodies apart without it looking very awkward.

"Tobi. Let go of me right now, un." Deidara ordered in a small growl as he glared off to the side instead of looking in the eyehole of the mask that concealed the other male's face.

Tobi continued to hold Deidara against his body and cheerfully spoke to the male in a childish tone, "Tobi has been a very good boy for Deidara-sempai ever since he joined the Akatsuki," but as he continued he leaned over to Deidara's ear and whispered in a less playful voice, "and Tobi is tired of being a _good_ boy…"

Deidara flinched as he felt the hands holding him hostage lower their grasp to grope his ass, immediately sending him into an embarrassed panic.

"Let go right now, un!" he cried more as a plea than an order since he truly couldn't do anything without his upper limbs, but he _tried_ to sound threatening.

BakaNekoSan – though she loved the scene playing out before her – slowly made her way to pass the two in hopes that she could finally leave, but gave side glances to peek at the raven and blonde since she couldn't fight her obsession with this pairing either.

Tobi pressed his hips into Deidara's, loving the power he had over his sempai since he no longer had arms to push him away. He chuckled before whispering with his sexy voice once more to Deidara, "Tobi is going to be a _very_ _naughty_ boy while Deidara-sempai doesn't have his arms…"

This was too much for Deidara to take and in a frantic attempt to get Tobi away from him he rammed his head into the mask on Tobi's face, causing the male to quickly pull away from the shock of being hit with such force and fell backwards right when BakaNekoSan thought she was able to get out of their way and go home, but-

_Smash_

Tobi looked up at the sky through his one eye hole and sat up when realizing a body was beneath his. He spun around where he was sitting to see that he had landed on the brunette and quickly apologized to her, but BakaNekoSan was deaf to everything around her. She sprang from the ground to a sitting position on her knees and gazed in horror at the sight of the camera now in pieces on the ground where she had just fallen.

"M-m-m-my…" she closed her eyes and threw her head back to scream to the world, "MY BEAUTIFUL FOOTAGE IS RUINED!!!" and she fell back to the ground, sobbing over the camera that had the lovely sex scene between Sasuke and Naruto on it that she would never be able to see again.

The two males watching from the sidelines – Tobi had jumped up and ran over by Deidara's side when the girl started screaming – glanced over at one another puzzled and shrugged since they didn't understand the tragedy they had caused.

Tobi shuffled over to stand very close to Deidara and put an arm around his shoulders. "Well, since Deidara-sempai's arms are gone, I guess I can help him with all of his "needs" from here on out!"

Deidara growled at the comment, but didn't kick Tobi away this time, finding that it only stressed him out and didn't do a thing to shut Tobi up.

They turned to leave, but were stopped by an unpleasant voice from behind them.

"Where the hell do you two think you're going?"

The Akatsuki members made an immediate halt and slowly turned their heads towards the girl that had recently been crying her eyes out over her camera only to find her standing right behind them with a bloodlust searing from her very being. They swallowed hard and shivered in fear at the thought of the girl committing a brutal murder over them, suddenly remembering how she went about happily hacking away at Deidara when she wanted his arms; but that was when she was "_normal_!!!" What would she do when she was extremely pissed off?!

"I hope the two of you liked living," she spoke in a cheerful voice that sent shivers down their backs, smiling as if everything that had happened was just a little mishap, but when she continued her face darkened to take the form of evil itself and her tone was like venom, "_because I'm about to hack you to pieces, glue you back together and repeat the process 'til you're __**dead**__! You'll be sorry for ever killing my beautiful yaoi_!!!"

Tobi wrapped his arms around Deidara and Deidara would have followed suit if he had arms, but since he didn't he just pressed up against Tobi as they screamed their heads off when BakaNekoSan reared back and sprang at them with the intent to kill.

-

Some birthday present, huh? A broken camera that had scrumptious SasuNaru-ness all over it that was also taken without permission, all lost!

…

Thankfully, BakaNekoSan has a photographic memory when it comes to these kinds of things and was able to write it all down for all of you readers to enjoy as well as herself. Too bad the footage never made it to her computer or everyone would be enjoying that instead of this!

And just as thankfully, her mother is a very forgiving woman and only forced BakaNekoSan to buy a new camera!

Deidara and Tobi?

Fortunately for them they rank high in BakaNekoSan's favorite pairings, so they only suffered minor injuries!

And as always, Sasuke and Naruto have their happy ending and were able to keep the special hands to do as they wished behind closed doors!

Well, this concludes the story and I hope that it was a very enjoyable one at that!

* * *

**(1) There are many translations to the ending word Deidara says, but I think I like this one the best because "Yeah" gets on my nerves and so does "humph." (those are the only ones I've heard other than "un")**

**And that really was the ending! Nya! **

**Wow, I think that my one-shots are longer than my chapys for my stories... Oo Don't understand how that happens, but oh well!**

**So, like I said in the top AN: Feedback is love! (On the lemon part mostly; it's my main concern since it's my first one posted. Note that I said ****first**** as in it won't be the only one! Keh-keh…) **

**I love all of my readers and reviewers! Thank you so much!**

**Forever the BakaNekoSan :3**


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